, , ,

A more accurate title may have been “Based on your genitals, this is probably how you feel about bed pillows.” I heard about this list as I was driving home and scanning radio stations, but it turns out he didn’t come up with the list. It was posted on The Frisky.  The list of 30 items includes some pretty puke-tastic stuff.

At first glance, I see about five things that I detest:

1. Reality TV dating shows. Seriously how vapid does one have to be to muscle through an hour of that drivel?

2. Astrology. Oh, hell to the N-O. I may have a vagina but I have learned about science. Your horoscope is just as likely to appeal to you as it is any other nut bored enough to read it.

3. Frozen yogurt. I don’t even know where to start with this. I thought the other stereotype was that women loved ice cream. Which is it ladies?

4. $50 scented candles. Ummm, maybe if it was guaranteed to burn for five years. What’s this say about my husband who loves birthday cake scented candles? Is he a closet woman?

5. Constantly changing one’s FB status. What a joke!  I don’t even have a FB page. In fact I know men and women who don’t have FB pages and I know men and women who write entirely inane updates every hour.

When listeners were calling to weigh in on this topic, I could only roll my eyes. One woman said she just loves musicals but men never understand that about her. Could the gendered stereotypes be any more powerful in this discussion? I don’t think so. Personally, I can’t stand musicals. Does that mean I’m secretly swaggering and swinging a penis between my legs?

I realize lists like this are supposed to be playful and harmless. The problem is they are neither. It forces nearly 7 billion people on this planet into one of two boxes and humans are not that easily broken into tiny parts. It also perpetual untruths that can be dangerous. These lists say “All women are” blah blah blah and “Men can never understand.”  So if you’re a woman and you don’t subscribe to some of these attributes are you less womanly? If you’re a man and you’re not confounded by uncomfortable underwear and you actually prefer them, are you therefore less manly?

Gossiping is on this list. I know a hell of a lot of men who gossip like 5th graders. The Swiffer is on this list. My god is this actually a list brought back in time from the 1950s. Where are feather dusters and dishwashers?

Why can’t someone make a list about what real women like? And then it could probably be a list for any intelligent being whether you’re sporting a va-jay-jay or the family jewels or neither or both. How about:

1. Decent healthcare that doesn’t require me going into debt.

2. The right to keep your last name upon marriage.

3. Equality.

4. Shelter, hot water, and food.

5. Good music. Not specific gender-boxing assumptions about it.

6. The right to equal pay for equal work

7. Someone who will love me forever.

8. Animals. Not just silly pictures of them but laying with them and walking them and making room in your heart for all their affection.

9. The right to vote.

10.  Being valued for having a strong opinion.

It’s 2012 people. Let’s act like it. Let’s start seeing people for who they are. Let’s let their words and actions define what they are passionate about. Let’s not make stupid generalizations based on what’s between someone’s legs. As Chaz Bono has so eloquently put it, it’s what’s between your ears that matters most.